hijab and family and friends

Salaam. I have not started wearing hijab yet (for a few reasons) but insh'Allah I will when I move out. But, I am scared to wear it around my family. I don't just mean mom and dad (but, yes, THEM TOO!) but also my aunt and her family as they are Fundalmentalist Christians and will make me feel bad. My Uncle and one cousin are going to India soon to "Help Save Heathen's Souls (my name for their journey:) !) I don't like ppl making fun of me or saying nasty things to me which my mom does alot, especially about Habibi and wearing Hijab and Islam. I know I shud be strong and just ignore her but I can't handle the hurtful and hateful stuff she tells me. That's one reason I do not wear hijab, b/c i am not strong enuf. Also, I am the only Muslin in my town of 2000 (that I know of). We have some seikhs, but other than them no other women cover their hair. Also the one friend I do have is a Missionary and I am afraid of what she will say to me. She always tries to invite me to church, so I know she does not approve of me being Muslim. But, she is basically my only friend in the world (except on internet). I have very sensitive feelings and I get hurt, very, very easily, and also cry very, very easily. I do not tell habibi all of this (tho' I do tell him some), partly b/c of our situation he can't live with me and help me the way he really wants to, but also b/c, while he does the 5 pillars, I am not exactly sure how religous he is. We hardly ever talk about religion, and if we do it's usually me complaing about the Missionary, Leah, and her telling me I'm going to Hell for not being born-again. Also, he doesn't like hearing about stuff like that cause it upsets him, and he has no way to help me. So, I'm in a really tough situation. Plus I have Depression and Autism, so alot of the time I feel depressed and un-loved and that no one cares about me (yes, sometimes too, even habibi!) and i don't want to do anything except just lie in bed. SO, that makes me stressed too.

My Musings-