Not done!! Don't read yet.My Reversion Story, Bab Ithnaan

Bismillahir-Rahmanir-Raheem, 

As-Salaamu alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh,

So there I was, lost again, just like I had always been. I honestly did not know what to do. I thought at the time that there was no religion out there that looked at things quite the same way that I did. I resolved at that moment to believe in one God and be a good person. I thought that there was nothing else I could do.

I was almost to the point of rejecting all religions and going towards "spirituality". But I could not bring myself to discount everything, as I knew that Jesus really was here, and actually did a lot of the things ascribed to him. I knew King David and Sulaiman (alaihimus-Salaam), really existed, so what did that leave me? At the time I thought like a pseudo-Christian. But I did not call myself that as I was against the whole Christian system and angry at what had been done to what I KNEW to be the Words of Allah. I was mad at the Judiasm for the same reasons.

Basically, I felt totally lost. Christianity was all I had had, and that had been taken, with nothing to replace it. I had no way to find the truth; I did not even know what the truth was, I could only identify the false. I felt adrift, cut off from my parents, who were missionaries who traveled to Mexico, very strong Christians, and my people, who were Christian. I was cut off from everyone and everything I knew up to that point. I felt totally alone.

What to do? I could only pray. So I did. I prayed for God to guide me. I begged for guidance. I felt spiritually alone, as I was already physically alone due to my incarceration. I had no one to turn to but God.

And within days it came. I got out of segregation after two long months. I loved it. I was free. I forgot (somewhat) about my dilemna. Or at least I didn't think about it all the time, as I was to busy getting myself reestablished in general population. I told myself it would be a long time before I went back to seg. again. I had done enough time there. Or so I thought.

Three days later, more chaos. A misunderstanding led me to going back to seg. again. This time for another month. Honestly, I should not have been there. I was placed in the segregation cell, very upset, angry cuz my cellie stole all my stuff from my box, and I could do nothing about it.

 Little did I know that hidaya was right in the cell next door. When I calmed down a little, my neighbor got my attention. Turns out, I knew him. He was an acquaintance of mine who also was in segregation on a misunderstanding. He was also a Muslim.

To be continued.