servantofgod

A question for brothers, please look

Date: 08 Apr 2008, 2:55 pm / Mood: Other/None


 Asalaamualaikum bros,



Here's a question from a sister I know so please answer.



"If a sister discloses to a brother early into the "getting-to-know-you" stage that she has several, not one diseases (inflammatory arthritis, irritable bowel syndrome, fibromyalgia, mild asthma) and that this will have an enormous impact on the married life, in every way imaginable, and maybe perhaps on having children as well.  What would a brother think?



I just wanted to know straight up ugly or good responses what brothers are thinking out there."



I know on here some bros may give a textbook answer but my sister needs to know what you really think not just what we are supposed to. So please don't be shy. Salaam



Maj (09 Apr 2008, 10:27 am):
perhaps she also told you very early on being cautious that you both could get attached and then if she dropped a bombshell on you you might want out..etc

Sayfullah (08 Apr 2008, 5:00 pm):
Al salamu alaykum wa rahmatullah.....Generally speaking, this is upon the individual brother to decide. Although, the text book answer is there...some brothers may not be able to handle that kind of situtation no matter how much good can come out of it. I can not begin to think of my reaction to such a situtation. I don't believe anyone can until they are in that situtation. Wallahu Alim.

abul_hasan06 (08 Apr 2008, 4:38 pm):
it would depend on the brother and the sister.  the sister may have a strong deen, and be the perfect one to encourage the brother upon birr and taqwaa.  she may also be beautiful.  for a brother who is patient and nurturing, these attributes may be well worth the struggles of caring for her.  the sister must disclose her illnesses.  then, the brother can evaluate the situation and see if this is something he can endure.  baarakallaahu feehimaa.

Maj (08 Apr 2008, 3:50 pm):
I guess she told you for good reasons like you have a right to know that perhaps she may have problems conceiving or later on in life she may need a lot of nursing etc.. its good she told you so you can think about this.

However this reminds me of my barber whos wife is very sick always in hospital but He loves her and loves to look after her. It doesnt bother hims that shes always very ill. She gave him one child as well a daughter.

ma salams

whoscareswho (08 Apr 2008, 3:42 pm):
hold on .I want know someting first .
Do I know her first ?
or she told me after 2 weeks of our first meeting ?
get specific .

truelover_4ever (08 Apr 2008, 3:04 pm):
salamualikum brother first hting is that what ever is meant 4 her it will happen to her and to her husband aswell. now come on man before there were not such kind of excuses now with the development of science lot of different things are coming into people minds. look alhamdullilah marriage is something tht has a great place in islam.. i will make dua 4 the sister that may allah cure her and she have a happily life after, ameen summa ameen