My conversion

This is an essay i wrote for English class, i thought i would post it incase anyone was curious of my conversion.

Road to Ramadan

Islam, as defined in Webster's Dictionary, is the religious faith of Muslims, based on the words and religious system founded by the prophet Muhammad and taught by the Qur'an, the basic principle of which is absolute submission to a unique and personal God, Allah. A year ago this definition may not have meant much to me except a fact or two I remembered from a world cultures class in high school, but now it defines me. Over the past eleven months I have taken my road peace and understanding. Everything I have learned; all the people I have met; my past; my present, and future all culminate in my first observation of this Holy month of Ramadan.

My decision to become a Muslim happened quicker than you may have imagined. Although I had always been a spiritual person, I was always longing for that connection with God. I grew up in the typical suburban family setting. Mom stayed home, dad went to work, grandparents, cousins, friends and family always close by. We attended church regularly, although we never really had a regular church. I remember my mom never feeling totally comfortable with the churches in our town, which meant we switched quite often. I was baptized Catholic like my mother, but first attended a Luthern Church like my father. I was enrolled in preschool at a non-denominational Church as a child but did not continue to go after I started school. My longing for spirituality heightened for the first time at twelve when I made the decision to be baptized at the church we were attending at the time. I felt at that time, that I needed to make the commitment to God myself rather than my parents choosing to do so when I was an infant. I was sure this would create the link between my creator and I. years passed and I waited for my heart to become content but it never did. I began searching for my own church, I went with friends and their families; I was looking for places that spoke to me and made me feel whole. However, when high school came, I quickly decided that God had forgotten about me and I was going to forget about him too.

I did forget, or at least I tried. For a long time God never passed through my mind except when I would slip a curse word with his name in it. I grew depressed, began listening to music I felt explained how I was feeling. I hated the world and it hated me right back. I was angry and hopeless, however, content. It was almost as if someone or something had taken over my body and I really didn't put up a fight. As high school continued I realize there were many things I wanted, like a car, new clothes, money to spend at concerts. I was now in search for a job.

As fate would have it I found a job flipping threw the newspaper. It was at a Christian summer camp. "Eh," I thought to myself, "I could totally pull this off." I figured a job was a job and I was definitely qualified for this position, they didn't have to know I didn't believe it. My junior year came to a close and summer was fast approaching. I started to think about God again and came to the conclusion that I missed him. I was fully prepared to use this time at camp to rekindle that connection with Him. Little did I know what he had in store for me.

Camp came and I had a blast, I had so much fun with the kids, and the staff, but something was missing, God. He was everywhere, but nowhere at the same time. We all spoke as if He was our best friend, but never acted that way.

When summer officially ended and I was getting ready for my senior year of high school I did some serious reflection time. I realized then that I loved God but didn't like the way most Christians my age respected God, or shall I say the lack of respect they gave Him. I wasn't really sure what to do, so I decided to do nothing.

I remember it was near election time in 2004 when I first had a run in with Islam. The word "terror" was again all over the news. My family being republican they sure loved George Bush, and me, being 17, sure did not. So when I would hear anti-Islamic words being said in my house I decided to investigate myself. I read about Islam, tried to find a reason to hate them or to see why their religion was so off balance and out of control. I couldn't find it though, the more I read the more it made sense. The more Islam made sense the more I wanted to be a part of it. Months of internet research went by and I knew I had to get my hands on a real copy of the Qu'ran, so I did. After that I knew I wanted to be Muslim, I knew I had always been Muslim. When I read about Islam my heart became complete. I was no longer confused about who Jesus was, or why God was a man and God or pleading with someone to explain the trinity so I could understand it. I knew then how to show God I loved him and that's because he showed us how threw his Prophets.

For the first time in my life I was excite, happy, vibrant, but also itching to for a Muslim community. I decided I would find a school somewhere where there was a strong Muslim population, and somewhere that I could flourish as myself too. Columbia College seemed to have the best of both worlds. I knew Chicago had a lot of Muslims, and Columbia, well, we know it doesn't get much better than this school. Move-ins came and went and I still felt isolated. I was too afraid to go visit the Islamic center, even though it was only a few blocks away. In November however, I gained the courage to talk to someone and met this Muslim girl name Amira. She was so kind, my first Muslim friend, I was so excited. The week before my birthday I went to her Mosque in Bridgeview and said Shahada. Saying Shahada is when you go and confess to some witnesses that you only believe in one God and that Mohammed was his Prophet. It felt amazing.

It still feels amazing. Being a Muslim is not like being a Christian for me, I can't leave God and go do what I want. He is there with me always, I pray to Him five times everyday, which always keeps me in line. By having a relationship with God that doesn't revolve around a building, or a certain day of the week, I am able to fully connect with him. This has been the happiest year of my life. I finally feel comfortable with who I am and I fear nothing but the only thing to be feared, and that is God. This year, this struggle, and this road has brought me to this month, the month of blessing, Ramadan