muslimah_pr

Turning your back on child.

Date: 11 Mar 2008, 3:21 pm / Mood: determined


ASSALMU ALAIKUM WA RAHMATULLAHI WA BARAKATUH.



IF A TEEN, 13 YEARS OLD IS NEGLECTFUL, AND AS A PARENT YOU HAVE TO REMIND HER TO PRAY ALL THE TIME, BUT SHE DOES IT. AND EVENTHOUGH YOU HAVE TO BASICALLY SHOVE THE QUR'AN AT HER FACE AND TELL HER TO READ, AND SHE STILL DO IT AFTER, ME THE PARENT HAS TURN BLUE IN HER FACE, SHOULD I WASH MY HANDS OFF FROM HER OR LOVE HER AND BE PATIENT AND LOVING  WITH HER, SO SHE WILL BE PATIENT AND LOVIN WITH HER CHILDREN  LATER ON IN HER LIFE.  SHE WEARS HIJAB, BASICALLY ALL THE TIME, AND SHE IS OVERALL A WONDERFUL KID. I DON'T WANT TO BE TO HARSH, JUST STERN SO SHE LOVES ISLAM AND DON'T TURN AWAY FROM IT .



TELL IF WHAT I AM DOING IS WRONG?



I UNDERESTAND THAT IS MY RESPONSABILITY AND I HAVE TO ANSWER TO ALLAH SUBHANNA WA TALLAH.



PLEASE ANSWER ME.



zionist (11 Mar 2008, 3:59 pm):
Definetly don't shove it on her. I've had a step parent shove religion down my throat and I have a hard time not hating the religion he stood for because of the way he acted, and tried to force me into it. Be gentle with her and just try to gently push her in the way you want her to go. My step dad screamed at me for not going to church and threw fits and raised heck. If he was sincere in asking then I would go with him. (Until he resorted to screaming and such). No teenager likes the thought that they are being forced or pressured to do something because that's what a parent wants. Just be easy and sincere with what you want. That or try to make it fun. Kind of like family time. Where everone gathers around and read out of it, etc. Just be easy with her though.

Laila03 (11 Mar 2008, 3:48 pm):
I think you should be careful here.  My mom practically shoved her religion on me, and as a result I picked everything about it apart, and eventually turned from it.  Do remember that she is in a difficult stage right now, and religion can help her through the trying teen years, but only if she wants it to.  It is like that common question with the hijab, does she wear it to keep you from bothering her, or does she wear it because she wants to please Allah?  I would ask her that, and go from there.  She will probably rebel like a typical teenager, and then grow up and see the right way.  By no means should you ignore it, you need to guide her and help her, just don't force her, or it make backfire.  Is she involved in any Muslim groups or after school activities (I am not sure where you are located).  That may help.  I understand your concern, but if she isn't doing drugs or drinking or having sex, that means you have raised a wonderful kid, and as she matures and thinks about life and starting her own family, I am sure she will turn more towards religion.  I do hope this helps!