meggie
"Honey, you're cute. If only you were whiter...."
Mmm... I'm starting to hear stuff like this a lot more often. From friends, associates and even my own sister.
They usually compliment my features first and then drop the bomb. "I admire your light reddish brown almond shapped eyes, your lips, your feminine figure and soft voice, small hands, the natural arch your eyebrows have. You're really a cute girl, but I think you should try to whiten your skin. Then you'd be a bombshell."
Before I became muslim I've never been insecure about my skin color. In Honolulu, nobody EVER cares about how light their skin is. As a matter of fact, people were so eager to get tanned that you'd see full blooded Japanese girls several shades darker than me. I'm not kidding. Only recently have my sister and I started feeling insecure about our skin color. A couple of girls were over and raving about a soap that makes your skin whiter. She was a brown girl, Filipina, and wanted to be as light as Jessica Alba. " Not too white," she said, " I don't wanna be like Michael Jackson, you know."
I've even had close friends drop the "get white" line. Someone even said that one of the best things about hijab is that it blocks the sun's rays so you don't get darker. Hijab makes you paler and in turn, it makes you pretty? Interesting...
Recently I was talking to a group of people and someone mentioned that Arabs only prefer blondes with light colored eyes and pale skin. Basically the picture of a Valkyrie on the cover of a book about Norse mythology. I mentioned," Interesting, the majority of men that I see staring at me or pulling out pick-up lines are Arab. I've only noticed a few Black guys try such a thing."
One of the people laughed and said it's because I'm young and that I have a charismatic personality. My charm is what gets them, not my looks. I suppose it could be true. Cleopatra was one ugly broad but she seemed to have something about her that made men fall head over heels.
I'm not saying it's a bad thing that charm, wit, intellect and my youth are what make me appealing. But isn't it possible that some people think I'm pretty, just the way I am? Isn't it possible that some people don't treat brown skin as if it were some terrible infection?
I think hanging around Muslims may have killed my self esteem more than anything.
What say you? I'm gonna order some Fair and Lovely.
asalaam alaikum
Its funny how people want to be darker or lighter rather then being happy for what Allah swt indowed you with. I mean I understand, me personally Im super pale i.e I look white when I use to be lightly tanned somehow Ive naturally gotten lighter over the years, propbly thanks to my low vitamin D , I started feeling insecure when people didnt believe what nationallity I was I mean I hated being mistaken for something I wasn't often wishing I was darker.
Slowly Ive been realising we will never be totally happy with our selves, even though we should be thankful for everything Allah endowed us with. I think all woman are beautiful no matter what their skin colour and its crazy to think people would possibly risk their health to be lighter or darker, its insane and in the end is it really worth it?
plus I know meggie, shes very beautiful just the way she is MashaAllah
Honey, believe me there's a whole lot of other things to worry about. I'm Somali, n I've seen other Somali girls here in Egypt and back in Canada stuffing there faces with that stuff. It makes them look like some kinda a ghost o.0. I like my brown tone, it's not dark nor white, and I'm fine with it. So screw what those other women think.
And if a guy doesn't want to marry cuz of our skin colour, then too bad for him, he'll be missing out on all those cute babies
tc
oh n about the hijaab blocking sunlight, haha jooke
iI ur a niqaabi then ya, it'll make u lighter cuz u'll be sweating underneath. But in a normal hijaab nope.
when you see the brunette, you say 'i have been shot (by her beauty)'
when you see the blonde, you say 'i have fainted (of her beauty)'
when you see the dark, you say 'Allaaah!!!, i have died (of her beauty).'
do now decide on one! my inconsistent heart.
:) some old turkish song lyrics....
yea fair & lovely will change ur outside look .,. but won't change anything inside ... 
I'm Married to an indian, and you know the thing about how Indian women should be fair or they have a hard time getting married. I believed it, but I don't acaully believe it until I asked my husband. He shocked me by saying that his family wished he was paler too. I pointed out that he will never be as pale as lets say, a white person.
So what differents does it make what shade of "brown" you are (<--- he says that)? I mean honesty. I'm white, and sometimes I don't like it, believe me its not as nice as you may think it is. Like wearing hijab in high school andyour white. Everyone is always like " aren't you white?" ....
Sister please your beauitful. Ingore those idoits who think beauty is only skin deep!!
It will taek you a few years to accept more of who you are ( might never happen) like me, I'm white. and my family is very farmer rooted, euorpean like people. There crazy about there heitage. . So now I'm a salwar kameez/abaya wearing muslim women, who loves indain things, speaks some urdu and german but still likes saurkraut, singing in german and loves watching the wheat fields in the morning during hervest season....I guess the bottom line is to accept and imbrace everything you are and can be...?!
......sigh...