jessica_reed22

I am never smart never beautiful.. advice anyone???

Date: 07 Sep 2008, 5:17 am / Mood: depressed


i need to get this off of my chest.. i feel my heart is going to explode and i cant stop crying...



 i hate to admit but i am a victim of loving too much... my heart is very soft, and now.. i am pregnant making it that much harder to deal with things... my husband leaves me to go with his friends and he is gone half of the day... he works all week so i only see him 1 or 2 hours before he sleeps and he doesnt talk to me in this time he just stays on the computer reading what is on masrawy... i cant get myself out of this rut that i am in... on one hand i am so happy that it is ramadan,and this is my opportunity to feel closer to Allah  but i am scared i think if he continues like this we may not stay together.. i am very unhappy.. he calls me names, and for him i am always stupid never beautiful... i try my best to make him happy and it is never enough.. he finds soalce in his friends... he lives liek he is single taking no consideration for my feelings.. i am always in the house.. i have no friends,, and i have moved away from my family (his decision) i feel i have no human contact except with my 21 month old daughter... whom always hugs me when i am crying.. i dont knwo what to do.. i know this is not how a wife should live, let alone a moslem wife.. i dont feel respected at all.. i know dating is haram in  islam and for this reason we didnt "date/date" we talked supervised, and he would come over to visit with my family (dad,step mom, sister always present) but he has changed so much.. i dont knwo who he is but certainly not the man i married!!!   i dont know who i can talk to.. i dont necessarily want a divorce but i dont know what else to do ... ADVICE ANYONE????



gothicgurl92 (08 Sep 2008, 4:50 pm):
have u eva tried talkin 2 him n tell him hw u feel make him make him aware of ur feelins e.g. cryin dnt wait 4 him 2 hug u coz he prop wont go ova 2 him n hug him n explain y u feel lyk tht n he mite sort it out good luck

TheStranger (07 Sep 2008, 1:49 pm):
Assalamu Alaikum try to talk to your husband about the situation and Insha Allah it will be okay.

dukocuk (07 Sep 2008, 10:49 am):
You know drop all this, ask ALlah and this and that,

Yes you doo make dua to Allah, but go talk with your husban about this, at many replied, i dont even think that he knows how serious you are about this, that hes not around, make him understand, that u wont be there forever if he keeps doing that, cuz no one sister, no one is willing to loose their "Treasure of Solomon".

You keep your mind clear, and talk to him about this.
Wait and see, everything will be good again, this is just a period.

MuslimMarriedMan (07 Sep 2008, 9:36 am):
As salaamu alaykum, Make sincere dua' to Allah. Ask Allah to change him for the better or remove him and send you someone better. Ask Allah to make him into someone who is good for you in this world and the hereafter or remove him and send you someone who is good for you in this world and the hereafter. Ask Allah for help, continue to ask Allah.

Malak_C (07 Sep 2008, 7:54 am):
salam alakum

take a break, go home visit ur family for a while....let him see wat its like not to have u and ur daughter around the house, maybe that way he will appreciate u both more. ..


Aaliyah_ummippu (07 Sep 2008, 7:37 am):
Salam Aleikum,
first of all, I realy dont understand why the people wh have not been married give advice of the things they know nothing about. Not to insult anyone... the pervious reply, though, was in my opinion too very correct. I think you should take it to a third party. it's obvious he's not intact with your feelings and probably even doesnt understand he's doing something wrong. You're a mother of a very small child and you're also pregnant. this is alone a lot of stress to be put on one person alone. It's not fair to leave you alone in a situation like this, and  i'm very glad you acknowledge your rights. There's too many wifes out there who realize too late that the treatment they've been getting from their hubbys hasnt been islamic at all, just idiotic. I really hope you guys can fix your things. i also agree with BIGPOPPA about you needing some activitiy for yourself. I know from experience it's not always easy to go somewhere with a small child. But trust me, you'll feel better if you do. Also your child needs the company of other muslim children, im sure. Very often it happens that men take their women for granted; when the woman's doing something of her own tho, they realize her worth.
InshaAllah all the best to sister. I really feel for you, i've been exactly in the same situation. but don't take my example before it's a necessity. Divorce is the last option, and always should be the most avoided one. BUt it shouldn't be a tabu. When the time comes when you cant aendure any longer, you'll know. And you will not hesitate about the decision you make.
My dua's with u sis. Have a blessed Ramadan inshaAllah!!
wa salam, Aaliyah

BIGPOPPA (07 Sep 2008, 6:45 am):
as salaamu alaiki may Allaah guide yoy and grant u tawfeeq.this unfortunatly happens may allaah guide us bros to b men.and in my view he's getting use to the fact that ur around.first ill like to suggest mak edua/also if his parenst are muslim confide within them,if that doesnt work than take it to your imam.also dont argue with him talk maybe he's feeling presure of the responsobilities.and u go out more to the masjid hang out with some sisters maybe u need some activity.sometimes the women wanna live thru their husband.beautify urself.and ill give u some books inshaallaah.

Hisham (07 Sep 2008, 6:37 am):
Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu Ukhti. As with the other person who commented, I too am also someone who is not married.Tell me how your husband is. Is he religious, does he work( he is around his friends alot), and for my knowledge what is masrawy? Are there times where he talks to you? if so and he is religious, tell him that you read a hadith saying that the best of men are those who treat their wives the best, and etc. If he is religious, he should in time understand what he is doing is wrong. Also, ethnically, is he Pakistani? Curious?

siecantik (07 Sep 2008, 5:56 am):
salaam alaikum..

1st of all i have to say that i have no experience about marriege life.

all i can say to u sist just be patient.. and ask Allah for everything.. best way i think u have to talk with ur parent about ur situation, an please be positive thinking.. never said that ur not beautiful or even not smart. we have to thankfull in better and worst situations. innalillahi wa inna lillahi rojiun.

if u have time please read my blog http://blogs.muxlim.com/siecantik/blog/33082

hope u have better feeling. in shaa Allah.