Picture (Poem)
Picture
All I have of you is this...
Picture
I remember this day
When I wasn't sposta be witcha
And now...?
I'm not
All I got is...
This picture
The day was in winter
And we were walking,
Talking,
Laughing,
Basking
In the fact that we
Would always be
Habeeb and habeebi
The love of one anothers lives
Ride or die
Right?
Wrong!
So wrong
And now you're gone
And all I have left
Is this picture sitting on my desk
Your jacket black
To match
My scarf
The rings on our left hands are
The same
The shame
That I shoulda been feeling
Is nowhere to be seen on the girls face
She is happy, in love, and her heart didn't break
Until long after the picture was taken
After the trees in the photo grew back leaves
And on her knees she fell
To beg forgiveness for thinking that it would be hell
Without him
Cuz, without him?
I can still
Laugh, love, feel...
Numb...sometimes
But no longer blind enough to think
That just because you take
Steps toward an Islamic existence
Anything that you do to get there is fine
Even pretend ignorance
To the fact
That you
Shouldn't be leaning on his shoulder
He shouldn't hold her
And they shouldn't even be in this picture together
Forever
Embedded in my mind
Forever
The reason why
I feel so lost and wonder how I
Let myself get to that point
That girl was addicted to that guy like he was a joint
And all she ever did
Was do any and everything for him
When they both shoulda been
Asking Allah to bless the union
Not praying that maybe they'd have another reunion
That noone would know about
Without
This picture
Maybe I could get some sleep
Maybe I could keep
This ring
And make it seem
Like it was just a piece of jewelry
But because of this constant reminder
I can't fool me
Into thinking that anything good came out of this memory
Even if she is smiling
Even if he is mouthing
The words
"I love her..."
Which she heard
And felt
And held
Onto him as long as she could
But she shoulda known
That noone should
Have to hold onto to "love" so tightly
Let it go
But not without fighting
With everything in her
To get back to the feeling in this picture...
And now
Senses back
And I lack
Everything,
That I once thought was...
Everything
All that remains
Is my shame
The pain
And
This picture...
down4thecause
10 months ago