Marriage For The Pleasure Of Allah or Ourselves

Asalaam Alaikum sweet sistersi have tears in my eyes when i read your stories, i dont know if there is any One that cant give you the best advice, my ex-husband of 6 years(3 1/2 years divorced) was muslim when when we married, i wasn't.  he was on his deen pretty good until he started hanging with his old friends. i tried to ignore his changed behavior  i took my shahada and and fell deeper in love with islam. wanting only to please ALLAH SWT. i had to keep reminding  him that we had a son that we want to know only islam, my iman became so much stronger  than his. i tried the whole "try to help him out with his iman" thing, but, to no avail. how was i loving ALLAH, but, ignoring HIM for my husband?  after a year, i left. he was still not on his deen, not even a little bit. i couldn't risk turning my back, my sons' (we now have 2) back, and his back on ALLAH, for his own desires for the things in the world. i would have contributed to our sons learning more of the worldy things, than Islamic things and about ALLAH SWT. besides his almost-non-existing- iman, his temper became out of control. marriage is beautiful, but, sometimes, when it's for ALLAH, we have to make decisions. would ALLAH SWT want us to be in marriages like these? probably not. of course HE want us to have more patience with each other, but ...how patient?the decision is ultimately up to us

assalamu alaikum. i am moslem sister married since march and have realized that spiritually my husband and i are not equals.. i would say i have stuck around for the sake of Allah but it is hard... he is always pressuring me.. i should take classes in arabic.. i do as much as i can and Alhamdulilah though i was not born moslem i find Islam the easiest decision.. with learning arabic to be the hardest... anways i find myself upset alot and crying and prayign for him.. though he wants me to be a picture perfect moslimah, and live up to HIS expectations i simply can't... he doesnt even pray liek he shoudl and i dont mean to talk bad abotu him and MAY ALLAH (SWT) FORGIVE ME but i dont knwo what to do.. i make dua ferverently for him.. btu he is "stuck".. i wish i can talk to someone about these problems.. it doesnt stop there.. i have no friends just family.. i am 3 months pregnant... and i am very emotional.. IF  YOU FIND THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION LET ME KNOW... becuase it does get very hard.... assalamu alaikum

Salam alaykoum!I feel i have very low iman right night now.For me now i mostly wanna be married cause of the spiritual.Somebody to pray with,fast with,go to mosque with and hajj/umrah with and to help me and guide me in a friendly and patient way.The physical comes after but off course I have to like the person i marry.Not marry just like that cause the guy is a mo'min.

Asalaam Alakum Sister Summaiyah,I think that the best thing is to be patient with your husband.  I too, have only been Muslim for 5 years, and I know that I am no where near having the knowledge of a practicing Muslim of 14 years.  You can help him by teaching him and encouraging him.  Allah has blessed you.  Like the other sister said, we all have different iman levels.  Some are high and some are low, but in the end Allah is the true judge.  Express your thoughts to him however, without being pushy.  Sometimes it is best to let people go at their own pace, Allah knows best.  But in all be patient with him inshallah, you never know where he will be at in his faith in a few years inshallah.Salaams,Sister Celin

Assalamu alaykumYou have been blessed with a good husband mashAllah. If your husband is a practicing muslim brother...he prays....fasts....reads the holy quran...does only halal things. Also if your husband provides for your needs, like a home and income to support you and your family. He is loving and kind to you. If my dear sister...your husband has all these things....then it will please Allah to stay with him. Because Allah has blessed this marriage.We are all at different levels of iman....we are not all the same. So this is the case with you and your husband. Only Allah can see your husbands heart my dear sister.Sometimes as a wife and as a muslimah you need to draw close to Allah to full your spritual needs. Allah is the one the rewards a wife that is loving, kind and loyal to her husband. This maybe just a test. May Allah help you through this time. Maybe this is Allahs way to cause you to depend more on Allah, to develope a strong relationship with Allah which will help your iman. We all doing know the future, we dont know if in fact you husband does become stronger in his deen, inshaAllah he does....but all you can do as a wife is to continue to love him like to you and make dua for him.I hope this helps you in some way my sweet sis. Life is just a test....for it is in Allah that we get the greatest rewards.Your sis in Islam,Aisha.