Salaam Alaykum Sisters WELCOME TO MY PAGE

Heritages: Mixed

Languages: English

Job: Housewife

About Me:
My Journey to Islam My early life: I was born in the mid 50s to a middle class Christian family. My parents were not that religious. We were more of the Easter Sunday, and Christmas season only church attendees. My father was disabled from an industrial accident when I was nine and my mother went to work. Without a real belief in GOD he turned to drinking his life away. He was not very pleasant to be around he was hateful, argumentative, and at time violent before passing out on the couch. It was after we had moved when I was 13 that I was introduced to the Fundamentalist Christianity. I was to attend Mt Hope bible camp during the Easter break from school. It was hoped that I would make new friends from the right crowd at bible camp. For 2 hrs each morning, afternoon and evening we were indoctrinated with Jesus died for your sins, If you have any need just ask Jesus and you will receive it. Testimonials were constant and at that age I didn't know to question what was being told. I thought if I accept Jesus and become saved or born again as it is also known. Everything will be alright. I wanted all this... They had me recite the Sinners prayer. A prayer that appears no where in the bible, and then paraded me around like some prized animal. After this when things didn't change. I became hateful of GOD and believed there wasn't one. In 1974 I graduated from school, worked the summer and decided that I could not live at home anymore. I decided to enlist in the military and let that be my home. Two weeks after my 19th birthday I was in Basic training to become a WAC (the womens army corps). Then I went to advanced training at Ft Devens were I attended the Army Security Agency School. I met and married my Husband while we were in school. He happened to be a Southern Baptist. We were stationed in Japan and once again I was led to believe in Jesus and attended a Southern Baptist Missionary church. We attended all the bible studies and so on. It was during these studies that I found a handful of verses, clearly stating the Jesus was human and not really GOD. These same verses kept coming into my mind. When I asked about these verses in bible study and what they meant, It was dismissed as this is what was written but not what it means. Now what kind of double talk is that? I also asked to see where Jesus said in his words that he was the son of GOD. This created a lot of hostility and my husband was upset with me. After a few months of these classes and attending this church I refused to go back. This made life unbearable at home. My husband felt betrayed by my unwillingness to accept what he believed. He never struck me or talked hatefully, he just sort of drifted apart from me and the children through the years. I followed him all over the world and back to the USA. I left the army in 1985 and remained in the Reserves and civil service as a military technician. Still following my husband around the country but now as a government servant. I remained un-religious trying various new churches that he found from time to time. But unable to accept the trinity, and other dogma of the church. First contact with Muslims: It was during and after desert storm/shield while at a major command that I came into contact with Muslim soldiers from the UAE and Saudi Arabia that were the liaison from their governments to our command. It was not a positive first contact either. It was a simple misunderstanding. We processed damaged equipment reports for rather expensive hardware. We had reports that came out weekly. Each week we kept getting farther and farther behind on working these issues with two countries. What was happening was The Muslim soldiers would come down the hall to our office take one look at the other secretary, me or the lady engineers in our western work attire. He would look confused, lower his gaze, about face and quick time it down the hall back to his office. We didn't know what was going on. Our self proclaimed expert on Arabs and Islam "Promptly informed us ladies that he either wanted to enter an affair with one of us, or he didn't want to touch our hands because he considered ladies of ill repute" It was that seed of hate that didn't sit to well with the ladies in our branch. One day it happened again and our lead engineer ran after him, and she said I know what you think we are but were not... and We won't bite you. It was then that our division head went down the hall after him for DAMAGE CONTROL purposes and after a few hours everyone discovered what was happening. A very polite man returned with him and talked to us for a little bit. Explaining a little about Islam and why this little problem was happening. It was decided that any future incident reports could be laid on the desk in a special box. No contact needed. The politeness planted a seed in my heart. I was not being insulted. Years later while going through our files to archieve, destroy or keep, I came upon pictures of the human factor of that little conflict/war. The pictures of the women and children kept eating away at me that week while I was working. I started reading about Islam and Muslims, but the things I was reading were negative things. My heart was being pulled both ways. The Journey starts: I started getting my information from the AOL Islam chat room. I though Islam was backwards and needed to be destroyed. The women freed from the evils of the veil. I was a frequent hater basher. Another of the frequent hater/bashers was posting these kill ayats from the Quran. I found a site that had the Quran in English, to be better at hating and making fun of Islam. Instead of what I thought I would find, what I found was a book that had many of the same stories I grew up with slightly different. It answered many of the questions I was asking for so long. It was like a light coming on in my heart. The more I read the more I didn't want to stop. I went and bought a copy of the Quran so I didn't need to be on the computer to read it, and I could take it to work with me to read. I finished it in several days. Re-reading some Surahs several times. New Muslim: I came into the hate bash Islam room and asked one of the brothers some questions. I am sure he was shocked this hater was asking a question and not insulting Islam. He took me into instant messaging and started asking me questions and telling me about Islam. It was a few months later after his efforts of those of a few other brothers and sisters to explain and talk to me that on Labor day 1999 that I decided to become Muslim myself. CLOSET MUSLIM: I remember asking my Husband what he thought about ISLAM, and his remarks were much of what I expected. I decided I had to learn to pray and keep it from him. I went to the Local Masjid and said I was a new Muslim and I wanted to learn to pray... They were not very helpful, it was a little insulting, but they did give me a booklet sort of describing Islamic prayer and wudu. The Shite experience: I found the booklet confusing and I told my best girlfriend what I had done, she said really you accepted Islam, I said yes but I was having trouble praying She said her husband was Shite and that she was thinking about it. I was to come that night to the Masjid with them. I didn't know any difference to me Shite was just like another church in Christianity. There I was warmly greeted and with much help taught to pray. It wasn't until a many months later that I found the english translation of some of the DUA I had been saying. I was confused and upset, but still believed that Islam was the true religion. OUT OF THE CLOSET and Back to the SUNNAH I came home one day after work to find my husband holding my Quran in one hand the other hand on his heart... He wanted to know what this evil book of the MOON GOD was doing in our house. I said that it was mine and that I was Muslim. That started months of fighting but at least I didn't have to hide to pray. When I mentioned the problems I was having I was informed that I was doing zina and it was forbidden for me to stay with my present husband. Would he come to the Masjid and talk to the brothers. He refused. I filed for divorce shortly after that, there wasn't any love there anyways, we had stayed together for the children, and our son was now 19. I prayed for guidance for nearly two years. I was divorced in Sept 2002 and I met a sweet Indian through a third party. There was one snag he was in India and I was in the USA. We both prayed istekerrah several times. He was what I was looking for He was a practicing sunni Muslim his friends think highly of him, I was very happy. I told him everything that I was trying to learn the sunni way of praying with the old booklet I had, that he would have to teach me this was acceptable to him. He called me daily and talked to me online daily. MUSLIM, MARRIED, and HAPPY: I flew to Bombay in March 03, Siraj and I were married right away. Not a day goes by that I am not thankful to Allah for the change in my life. Siraj arranged for me to go to a ladies madrassah in Bombay, I had the most lovely sister to teach me. I am still learning all the time. The first year was the hardest because at first I lost my big house, my children didn't want to talk to me, my mother didn't accept me and my faith. Time heals most things. My kids have totally accepted that I am Muslim. They are thoughtful of my restrictions in diet and needing to pray 5 times a day. My mother though distant accepts my faith. We talk now. There is also hope of my son accepting Islam he now visits a DAWA site. I hope InshaAllah that my story wasn't boring.

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I don't listen to music. But I do enjoy deeni lectures, recitation.

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