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TELLING YOUR FAMILY YOU HAVE CONVERTED
For some muslim converts telling their family of their decision is no problem at all. Some families of converts are very happy at the choice to become a muslim, and it is welcomed. Unfortunately though for other converts this is a difficult process, with various obstacles to face.
This page is designed to help new converts through this experience, or perhaps even 'old' converts who have kept their new religion hidden for some time. There is no magical answer as all families are different and will inevitably react in various ways. However, if we cannot provide exact answers, we can certainly go a long way to helping converts feel more comfortable in this situation, and by sharing with each other we will all grow stronger and more able to face problems inshaAllah.
Before we get into the possible family problems and the suggested solutions we should first emphasize that although some converts have some problems, there are many others who do not. This page is designed to help those who are met with obstacles, so may, unavoidably, come across as negative. So please remember that some families of converts are very happy that their relative has converted. Some reasons for the happy reactions are as follows:
they are happy that the relative concerned has found God.
they are happy that the relative concerned will be leading a moral life, especially in this day and age.
the family have seen the happiness that the relative concerned has found and this in turn makes them happy.
they are pleased that the relative concerned now has discipline and stability in their life.
families knowledgable about Islam, although they may not convert themselves, realise the truth about Islam (as opposed to the propaganda).
Please remember that the anticipation of telling your family about your new religion is often worse than the reality. We find that we re-run the moment over and over in our minds, imagining the worst possible outcome. Then, when we come to actually having the discussion, things go much better than expected.
So, if your worries are more self created, rather than based on 'real problems' them the advice would be to just get it over and done with. I totally understand that this is easier said than done, but having spent a long time pondering the event myself, I know that I would have been better just getting on with it. The bottom line is that it is a conversation that you will have to have with your family, or at least your parents, one day, so why not get the ball rolling now and start to deal with any issues that arise. Of course, please email ZAYNAB5@AOL.COM if you would like someone to talk to just for some moral support.
For those who have bigger concerns with telling their families, we have tried to identify the common concerns, and where we can offer some help. This may also be useful to those who did go ahead and tell their family, but are now experiencing problems. Please do not look at the possible problems below and get yourselves worried, we have not identified a possible problem without suggesting a possible solution.
It is very unlikely that you would face more than one or two of these problems, if any at all, and anyway it is better to be prepared just in case.
Please see the end of this web page for info on emailing us if you would like additional help, or just a friend who understands. Our prayers are with you all.
Possible Concerns to Deal With (click below for solutions):
There are many ways of overcoming all these concerns.
Let us start by reminding ourselves what the Quran says (2.286):
Allah (swt) does not impose upon any soul a duty but to the extent of it's ability; for it is (the benefit of) what it has earned, and upon it (the evil of) what it has wrought: Our Lord! do not punish us if we forget or make a mistake; Our Lord! do not lay on us a burden as Thou didst lay on those before us; Our Lord! do not impose upon us that which we have not the strength to bear; and pardon us and grant us protection and have mercy on us, Thou art our Patron, so help us against the unbelieving people.
If we keep this in mind we will be fine.
Alhumdalillah, as converts, Allah (swt) immediately allows us this opportunity to spread Islam within our family and inshaAllah earn some good deeds.
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Audios
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Quranic Supplications
1- (رَبَّنَا آتِنَا فِي الدُّنْيَا حَسَنَةً وَفِي الآخِرَةِ حَسَنَةً وَقِنَا عَذَابَ النَّارِ) [البقرة/201]
"Our Lord! Give us in this world that which is good and in the Hereafter that which is good, and save us from the torment of the Fire!" (2/201)
2- (رَبَّنَا أَفْرِغْ عَلَيْنَا صَبْرًا وَثَبِّتْ أَقْدَامَنَا وَانصُرْنَا عَلَى الْقَوْمِ الْكَافِرِينَ) [البقرة/250]
"Our Lord! Pour forth on us patience and make us victorious over the disbelieving people." (2/250)
3- (رَبَّنَا لاَ تُؤَاخِذْنَا إِن نَّسِينَا أَوْ أَخْطَأْنَا رَبَّنَا وَلاَ تَحْمِلْ عَلَيْنَا إِصْرًا كَمَا حَمَلْتَهُ عَلَى الَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِنَا رَبَّنَا وَلاَ تُحَمِّلْنَا مَا لاَ طَاقَةَ لَنَا بِهِ وَاعْفُ عَنَّا وَاغْفِرْ لَنَا وَارْحَمْنَا أَنتَ مَوْلاَنَا فَانصُرْنَا عَلَى الْقَوْمِ الْكَافِرِينَ) [البقرة/286]
"Our Lord! Put not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear. Pardon us and grant us Forgiveness. Have mercy on us. You are our Maula (Patron, Supporter and Protector, etc.) and give us victory over the disbelieving people." (2/286)
4- (رَبَّنَا لاَ تُزِغْ قُلُوبَنَا بَعْدَ إِذْ هَدَيْتَنَا وَهَبْ لَنَا مِن لَّدُنكَ رَحْمَةً إِنَّكَ أَنتَ الْوَهَّابُ) [آل عمران/8]
"Our Lord! Let not our hearts deviate (from the truth) after You have guided us, and grant us mercy from You. Truly, You are the Bestower." (3/8)
5- (رَبَّنَا إِنَّنَا آمَنَّا فَاغْفِرْ لَنَا ذُنُوبَنَا وَقِنَا عَذَابَ النَّارِ) [آل عمران/16]
"Our Lord! We have indeed believed, so forgive us our sins and save us from the punishment of the Fire." (3/16)
6- (رَبِّ هَبْ لِي مِن لَّدُنْكَ ذُرِّيَّةً طَيِّبَةً إِنَّكَ سَمِيعُ الدُّعَاء) [آل عمران/38]
"O my Lord! Grant me from You, a good offspring. You are indeed the All-Hearer of invocation." (3/38)
7- (رَبَّنَا آمَنَّا بِمَا أَنزَلَتْ وَاتَّبَعْنَا الرَّسُولَ فَاكْتُبْنَا مَعَ الشَّاهِدِينَِ) [آل عمران/53]
"Our Lord! We believe in what You have sent down, and we follow the Messenger ['Iesa (Jesus)]; so write us down among those who bear witness." (3/53)
8- (ربَّنَا اغْفِرْ لَنَا ذُنُوبَنَا وَإِسْرَافَنَا فِي أَمْرِنَا وَثَبِّتْ أَقْدَامَنَا وانصُرْنَا عَلَى الْقَوْمِ الْكَافِرِينَِ) [آل عمران/147]
"Our Lord! Forgive us our sins and our transgressions (in keeping our duties to You), establish our feet firmly, and give us victory over the disbelieving folk." (3/147)
9- (رَبَّنَا مَا خَلَقْتَ هَذا بَاطِلاً سُبْحَانَكَ فَقِنَا عَذَابَ النَّارِ رَبَّنَا إِنَّكَ مَن تُدْخِلِ النَّارَ فَقَدْ أَخْزَيْتَهُ وَمَا لِلظَّالِمِينَ مِنْ أَنصَارٍ رَّبَّنَا إِنَّنَا سَمِعْنَا مُنَادِيًا يُنَادِي لِلإِيمَانِ أَنْ آمِنُواْ بِرَبِّكُمْ فَآمَنَّا رَبَّنَا فَاغْفِرْ لَنَا ذُنُوبَنَا وَكَفِّرْ عَنَّا سَيِّئَاتِنَا وَتَوَفَّنَا مَعَ الأبْرَارِ رَبَّنَا وَآتِنَا مَا وَعَدتَّنَا عَلَى رُسُلِكَ وَلاَ تُخْزِنَا يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ إِنَّكَ لاَ تُخْلِفُ الْمِيعَاد ِ) [آل عمران/191-194]
"Our Lord! You have not created (all) this without purpose, glory to You! (Exalted be You above all that they associate with You as partners). Give us salvation from the torment of the Fire. *Our Lord! Verily, whom You admit to the Fire, indeed, You have disgraced him, and never will the Zaalimoon (polytheists and wrong-doers) find any helpers. *Our Lord! Verily, we have heard the call of one (Muhammad p.b.u.h.) calling to Faith: 'Believe in your Lord,' and we have believed. *Our Lord! Forgive us our sins and remit from us our evil deeds, and make us die in the state of righteousness along with Al-Abraar (those who are obedient to Allah and follow strictly His Orders). *Our Lord! Grant us what You promised unto us through Your Messengers and disgrace us not on the Day of Resurrection, for You never break (Your) Promise." (3/191-194)
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"And seek assistance through patience and prayer, and most surely it is a hard thing except for the humble ones" {Quran 2:45 }
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The Glorious Quran. Final Testemant - The Miracle of Allah!
"The Qur'an: literally, "that which is often recited." A web of rhythm and meaning, the words of which throb through Muslim worship and which, at every point in the believer's life , break surface, sanctifying existence with the scent of eternity." [Abdul Wadod Shalabi in "Islam - Religion of Life"]
The Qur'an represents the fountainhead of Divine guidance for every Muslim. Its revelation to the Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him), and his practical implementation of the revelation, completed God's blessing for humanity, in providing us with a belief and value system that is valid for all times.
The Qur'an confirms the revelations given to earlier Prophets, though these might not be accessible to us, in the form they were originally revealed. The most sublime poetry in any language, and a rational message that directly appeals to the human heart, have caused this Divine book to move nations and civilizations. It will continue to guide those who turn to God with a sincere heart, for all times.
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ONLINE ISLAMIC STORES
www dot shukronline dot com > clothing
www dot alhannah dot com > Clothing & beauty
www dot thecanadianmuslim dot com > Clothing
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