Meanderings of the Mind

A'salaam 'aleikom Gentle Reader.

Once, a long time ago, a Prime Minister of my country stated that "Life was not meant to be easy". In retrospect, I have found that statement to be somewhat true. Although I should also mention,  the particular Prime Minister was in fact a multi millionaire, and he was commenting on the low income eaners. So I can only assume that he was not reffering to himself.

When it comes whether or not life is easy, I found that when i suddenly became single, just how true that can be for many. I suppose that passing everything off to Allah (subhanna wa ta'ala) has at least relieved me of much of the associated difficulties.

Anyway it has now been eleven months since the event that changed the focus of my family. It has not been easy, but I have now reached a stage where I sometimes feel a little uncomfortable when faced with the prospect of conversing with a female. Not so much as a bad feeling, it is more like a feeling of emptyness.

I had that feeling when, last Saturday, I attended a Fete being held by the Muslim College near here. Mind you it was an overall pleasant experience, albeit that I am, by nature, somewhat shy, the overall effect being that I did not speak to anyone other than the stall holder who sold me a very nice kebab. This experience put me in a retrospective mood. It took me a while to work out what was wrong, but then I realised that what made me a little sad, was the fact that, for the first time in many years, I was attending functions on my own, with no partner. I should mention that most of the functions previously attended involved such people as the Rolling Stones, BB King, Meatloaf et 'al.

A French Philosopher once said, "A thing of Beauty, not seen through the eyes of a loved one, is like cold steele through the heart." Which is exactly how I felt after Saturday. I suppose that it is natural for one human being to want to share experiences with another.

Although some people take their partners for granted, and feel they do not need to share. Inter-personal relationships with other human beings are as important for survival as the air we breath. Without that we must wither and die, just as the tree would die if deprived of water. The other side of the coin being that such people, deprived of emotional attachments, become easily tempted to let their mind wander off the path and seek other distractions from what they are, or what they should be, doing. And when one is without a partner, one can very easily get into some deep trouble. Thankfully I have not gone that far.

I must admit however that, without any planning on my part, I did find myself becoming a little bit emotional over a couple of Muslimah on this site, something that I feel should not happen as such things tend to distract me from reality, as it would do for others. Albeit that my thoughts were strictly Honourable, when the magic word, "Marriage" started to flicker in my rather confused brain, (yes I do still have one, a brain that is), I was brought back to reality. The reality being that I can't swim and do not own a canoe, so location would make things a little difficult to say the least.

Some months ago, someone told me to concentrate only on raising my child, forget about relationships etc. Easier said than done. So on searching and reading the Qur'an and Hadeeth. And a lot of contemplative reflections through prayer, I have decided that to avoid any future complications and temptations, I have discussed the problem with an Imam. Insh'allah he will assist me to find a partner to share my life with, even though it is still a scary thought. I have to face the fact also that my Daughter is growing up, a little too fast for my likeing, but kids do that, and she is not going to be here for ever.

It is unfortunate that I live in a society where the concept of an extended family, no longer exists. Kids cannot wait to grow up, and make their own way in the world. They build for themselves their own lives, lives and relationships that end up taking priority over the consideration of Parents. They become parents themselves eventualy. We can do nought but watch from the sidelines as the game starts over, but this time it is our children's game, not ours. At the very least we can always end up as free baby sitters, a situation that I would not complain about.

I headed this offering as "Meanderings of the Mind". I think I had better stop "Meandering" or I will end up with a book, or at least a chapter for one. 

So, until the next time my brain kick starts, and commences to do dangerous things, like thinking, I will wander off to bed.

I pray that you, Gentle Reader, and all others, have an enjoyable Rammadan. That you will find peace, love and the blessings of Allah, (subhanna wa ta'ala) during that month especially, and for all the year.

W'Salaam

Ibrahim