Still

Asalam alaikum everyone, I hope you are all in good health. 

I thought I would give an update with my onging delemia of being separated from my husband.  We have been married 3yrs May 29, and for 3yrs we have been tryin to get together but my countries immigration has turned down all 4 of our visa attemps.  They wont even grant him plain visitors visa.  Anyway I wrote to our Ombudsman about it saying how I thought immigration were being rather unfair with their decisions.  I was then told to start back with immigration and write a complaint with them.  I kinda knew then that it would be a total waste of time when it is immigration I have complaints about.  I was kinda hoping it would be an individual body that would investigate into my complaints with immigration.  So needless to say I got a reply from my letter of complaint and immigration still stand with their previous decisions of not granting my husband a visa.  The thing that really gets up my goat is that I wrote a really involved letter explaining why I could not go live with my husband in Pakistan,  my raising my 2 teenage girls, I can't leave them here and their father will not let me take them with me.  Realistically it would be better if he came to NZ.  But since we have not been able to be together they say "we are not living in a genuine and stable relationship"  I have been to visit him twice but only brief visits.  I explained all this in my letter and more and all I got back from immigration today was a one page letter telling me they had reviewed the files and their decision still stands because we are not seen to be living in a genuine and stable relationship.

The fact that we spend an hour or even 2hrs almost every night on the net chatting and have done for the past 3yrs just doesnt cut the mustard obviously.

I feel like I have once again been hit with a sledge hammer.  Unfortunately neither my husbands family or my family give us much support.  I'm a revert and my mum still can not bring herself to acknowlegde that not only am I married again, but also that I am muslim.  Its a case of what my mum does not say to me.  She will say things like "what will be will be" and the other day it was "have you heard from your......hmmm.......umm.....friend lately"

Now because my husband married someone out of his caste and also someone whom he chose, 'cos he was to have an arranged marriage, his parents have not been very happy with him either.

So the old support from the families hasn't been rushing in with great gusto.

The sad bit about it all,  is today is the first time I have seriously  thought about the 'divorce' word.  I'm usually a very strong minded person and wont give in easily, but I'm starting to feel weary and beaten with this.  A) I don't have much energy right now and B) I feel my husband would be better off free of me. 

I guess give me a couple of days I may have picked myself up again, shaken the dust off and decided to go to the next level above immigration.  Surely someone has to give us a break.

Thanks all who read, I just had to vent