POLYGYNY II

The importance of equitable treatment in regard to time and wealth can not be overstressed as it is the major factor excluding the established pre-requisites for marriage, in general, that a man can weigh and assess in his day to day inter-action with his wives.  Unfortunately, there are some modern day Muslims, under the influences of western thought, who have misinterpreted some Quranic verses in order to support their arguments for monogamy and the abolition of polygyny.  However, the equality referred to in Surah An-Nisa 4:3 is referring to time and money.

"…If you fear that you will not be able to deal justly (time and money) with them then only one…"

(An-Nisa 4:3)

Whereas, the equality mentioned in Surah An-Nisa 4:129 refers to that which no man or woman has control over but which belongs exclusively to Allah’s (SWT) decree.

"…You will never be able to  do perfect justice  (love and sex) between wives even if it is your ardent desire." (An-Nisa 4:129)

The Prophet’s (SAW) companions, ‘Ubayadah as-Salmanee and Ibn ‘Abbas (RU), both stated that the time equality spoken of in Surah An-Nisa 4:129 refers to love and sex.  Furthermore, we must take note of the fact that even the Prophet (SAW) begged pardon for that which was not in his possession, the feelings of love, affection or sympathy which were known to be greater for one of his wives than the others.  Yes, Allah (SWT) allowed the Prophet (SAW) to marry a greater number of women than was allowed to ordinary Muslim men. Thus any attempt to forbid polygyny on the basis that a man might love one of the women more than the others is futile and baseless because this factor can not be used as a gauge for justice in Islamic plural marriages.

The division of time amongst the wives according to Islamic law is generally made according to the nights, due to the fact that night is usually the time in which mankind relaxes from work and takes rest. During the night, people take refuge in their homes from the struggles of the outside world and men and women spend their most intimate time together.



Thus a man married to more than one wife should divide the nights among his wives while the day is his to earn a living, to take care of other people’s needs or whatever else a man wishes to do as long as it is lawful.  Whatever a man’s profession might be, he will probably be engaged in it during a major portion of the day.  The division of time is based on the time period allotted to sleep or rest.



The resting periods must be divided equally among the wives.  A man may divide the nights by giving one to each wife according to the Prophet’s (SAW) practice;  however, he may also divide them on the basis of two to each or three to each wife.  If, however, a man has four wives it would be preferable to divide his time on the basis of one night each, whereby, each wife would get a chance to be with her husband every three days.  A division on the basis of two nights would mean that each wife would only be with the husband after an interlude of six days.  Under normal circumstances, the day up until Maghrib (setting of the sun and the time of the fourth daily prayer) is considered a part of the previous night which started at Maghrib on the previous day according to the lunar calendar.

The extra free time for acquaintance given to the virgin bride is obviously needed due to the newness of marriage and sex to her, whereas the previously married bride in most cases is familiar with both and needs only a chance to become familiar with her new partner.  However, the option of seven days is also given for the widow or divorcee in order to allow for cases wherein marriage and sex may be as new to her as to the virgin. This applies in cases where her previous marriage was extremely short or even unconsummated or the lapse of time between her previous marriage and her re-marriage was great. When an already married man marries a new wife, he is allowed by law an acquaintance period with his new wife of seven consecutive days if she is a virgin and three days if she has been married previously.  He does this without making up the time for the remaining wife or wives.  This law is based on the Sahaba, Anas’ (RA) report, "It is from the Sunnah. The Prophet’s (SAW) said,

"If a man marries a virgin then he stays with the virgin wife for seven days and then divides his time equally after that. And, if he marries a woman who was previously married, not a virgin, he should stay with her for three days then divide his time equally." (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

However, if the previously married new wife requests seven days for herself, he may also do that but he must make up the full time with the other wives. Abu Bakr ibn al-Harith reported that on the following morning after the Prophet (SAW) married Umm Salamah (RA), he said to her,

"Do not feel that you are unimportant among your people, for if you wish, I will spend seven days (with you) and spend seven with the rest of my wives or if you wish, I will spend three days with you and divide the time equally after that." She replied, "Make it three." (Sahih Muslim)

Thus as soon as the new wife has been given her time right, the husband is obliged to begin dividing his time equally among the remaining wives, by drawing lots to determine with whom he will start.

A wife may give up her division right to her husband, to some of his wives or all of his wives if the husband agrees.  Since it is his right to take pleasure from her, it must be with his agreement.  This principle is based upon the fact that Sawdah (RA) [one of the Prophet’s (SAW) wives] gave her day to Aishah (RA) [another one of the Prophet’s (SAW) wives].  So the Prophet (SAW) used to add the time originally allotted to Sawdah (RA) to Aishah’s (RA) time. It is narrated that when Sawdah bint Zam’ah (RA) became old and feared that Allah’s Messenger (SAW) might divorce her, she said,

"O Messenger of Allah (SAW), I give my day to Aishah." And, he accepted it. (Sunan Abu Dawud)

If the day which is given precedes or follows the day of the wife to whom the day is given, the husband may stay with that wife for two consecutive days. But if the other wives have days in between, the husband is not allowed to put the days together without the permission of the other wives. If the right is given to the husband, he may give it anyone of the wives he wishes to. However, if a wife gives up her time without giving it to another wife or to her husband, he has to divide his time equally among the remaining wives.  What is more, the wife who has given up her turn may ask for it back whenever she wishes but she has no right to what has already passed.

It is preferable that each wife have separate living quarters in which the husband visits her because that was the way Allah’s Messenger (SAW) divided his time.  In view of this fact, a husband should NOT put his wives in the same house unless they agree to a communal arrangement or the house is divided into distinct and separate apartments such as might be found in a duplex.  It makes no difference whether the house is large or small if kitchen, bathroom and other facilities are shared, because living together constitutes a type of hardship on women due to the natural jealousies which are likely to arise among them.  Such living arrangements often lead to arguments and fighting which obliterate the apparent economic benefits of living together. The wives may experience jealousy when he goes to either of them or they may imagine preferences which could lead one or more of them to experience emotional harm or inhibition.  Nevertheless if they agree, it is permissible because it is their right to decide.

If the husband wishes to travel and wants to or is only able to take some of his wives with him, he has to choose among them by drawing lots as all of them have equal rights to travel with him if they wish.  This principle is based on the Prophet’s (SAW) practice as narrated by his wife, Aishah (RA), wherein she said,

"Whenever the Prophet (SAW) wanted to travel, he used to draw lots among his wives and the wife whose lot came out would travel with him." (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

The husband is then not required to make up the time spent on the trip of the wife or wives who did not travel, regardless of the length of the trip. Al-Bukhari’s collection of Hadiths further mentions that on one occasion the lots came to Aishah (RA) and Hafsah (RA).  However, if he takes two wives on a trip with him by drawing lots, he has to treat them equally in all the previously mentioned aspects of division.

It is not necessary for a husband to provide his new wife with all the luxuries already possessed by his other wives right away.  However, he is required to provide her with the basic necessities according to his means and social status.  He may, if he chooses to, provide her with any amounts of gifts as part of her dowry.  However, after marriage all gifts must be balanced.



Personal allowances are not a requirement according to the Islamic law. However, if the husband decides to give one of his wives an allowance, he should give the others the same.  Similarly, gifts should be balanced. However, if he buys earrings for one and the other has no desire for earrings, he should give the cost of the earrings to her or buy her something else of equivalent value. Spending for children is not included in the division of wealth among wives.  Hence, it goes without saying that if one wife has seven children and the other wife has two that the husband must spend more in terms of food and clothing for the larger family.

Information from Polygamy in Islam By Abu Ameenah Bilal Phillips and Jameelah Jones