Marriage and the New Muslim

Asalaamu Alaikum Dear Brothers in Islam

Particulary New Brothers ( 2 years or less)



I am Anabran Abdul-Quarnain



I recently read an article in the Muslim link newspaper

that ached my chest as it Addressed an Issue

I consider to be a crisis in Ummah today.



That is the disasterously High divorce rates among New muslim men

Particularly from the Black american Community.



The author went into the various social/cultural baggage

that many black men wrongly bring with them to islam that keeps them from properly

implementing islam in their marriages causing them to fail and divorce.



I wont expand on those Destructive Black urban Cultural behaviors

regarding treatment of  females in the scope this particular blog because they are likely

well known to Most of us who grew up in "the hood" and later embraced islam as I did

at the  age of 42  two years ago



What I would like to address  is this problem I experienced

and continue to see new brothers experience coming from

his new muslim community.



Too often I see new brothers being strongly urged to Marry a Muslima

(any muslima) Soon after taking the Shahaddah.



within 90 days after my  Shahaddah I found myself frankly being admonished

( by well meaning brothers InshaAllah) for not "seriously" looking for a wife.



Yes Seeking Marriage is Sunnah in fact it is more than sunnah I consider it Obligation for EVERY Muslim man

,Whom Allah Asawajal has given  the means, to marry a Sister From AMONG US and our Deen

not from the Kufar.



Now what Does "Whom Allah Asawajal has given the means " really define??

Abviously the brother must have Viable income from a Halal source sufficient to support a wife Insha Allah.

But additionally and more importantly the bother MUST  have taken the time to study THE FIQH OF MARRIAGE in Islam

and the accompanying Sharia.( The Mahr, taking permission from the Wali, her role ,his role etc etc.)



This where we often fail our new brothers.

Because let me tell you Honest to Allah

spending many married or Dating/girlfriend years as a Kaffir or so called "Christian"or whatever

Is NOT Sufficient training or experience to become Amir of a Muslim family

if you have no knowledge of the broad Comprehensive Fiqh&Sharia of Marriage in Islam

given to us a Mercy from Allah Asawajal in Quran

There is no direct translation between the two lifestyles.



The Core of the Muslim Ummah is the muslim family

When there is Disarray, Weakness and ignorance at the core

the WHOLE Ummah becomes weak..May Allah Save us!!.





Consider this

What is a more important responsibility for the Muslim Man to Do???

Deliver a Khutba & lead the Salaah  on Jummah



Or produce the pure Correct seed of the next generation of the Ummah as Husband and father with ILM

(religious knowledge)of a Muslim Family.



Notice how we DO NOT go to the new Muslim

who has  4-5 Months in Islam and ask him to deliver the Khutba & lead the Salaah on Jummah .

 

Why not ??...Because We know his knowledge is basicly  ZERO (at this point) He has no Arabic

he has not memorized any Ayat or Dua he is not READY for the responsibility

for Delivering Khutba  & lead the Salaah on Jummah.



So Why do we go to the same New brother and Urge him to quickly take on the HUGE responsibilities

of becoming Amir of a muslim Family So Vital to the Core of our Ummah

when his knowledge is still so underdeveloped??



A new brother Must enter Islam Slowly with patience with focus on the basics

Ibaddah, Quran & all the five pillars. and then Ilm and specific fiqh

and then start the process of looking for a suitable Muslim wife

How long should this take ??... Allah  Knows best

I would just ask that we be patient and assist the new brothers in these fundamentals

as much as we can Insha Allah.

Jazakalah



Asalaamu Alaikum.



Anabran Abdul-Quarnain