AishaDaud
How long to wait
Date: 18 Jun 2008, 2:26 pm / Mood: curious
I would like to get someone feedback on this. If you are in very bad marriage for basically all of your adulthood (so far) age 17 to age 33, and and are now divorced how long should you wait before re-marrying? I am not asking for myself just trying to gain some insight for someone else.
Please Comment!!!!!
Latest posts:
How long to wait 18.06.2008
Laila03
(18 Jun 2008, 4:01 pm):
Yes, I think men want to marry as quickly as possible for several um, reasons shall we say. Plus, if he has children, he is going to need a woman around to help with that, housework, etc. While I think this is WAY too early, are you sure he hasnt been talking with this woman for a longer time? I know some divroces can take years to get through, and the couples has been moving on way beforehand. But yes, I would make sure he understands that he made one mistake, and he was young when it happened, but he is an adult now, and a father, and his priorities and responsiblities have changed, and he needs to think things out before he progresses.
AishaDaud
(18 Jun 2008, 3:49 pm):
Jazakallah Khairun
Inshallah I will discuss these things with my brother. The main reason I am asking is because his divorce was just final a few weeks ago and he is already talking to a sister w/ the intend to marry as soon as possible. And yes there are children involved. I have two nieces and two nephews from him.
Laila03
(18 Jun 2008, 3:32 pm):
I agree with Maj. If his wife took most of his stuff in the divorce, he may need to take some time to materially recover. Other than that, he needs to find the right wife before he can marry. That is no easy task! Maybe you can help him sort out what he is looking for versus what qualities his ex had that he disliked and he can go from there. Also, he neds to be careful if children are involved... they may need sometime after the divorce before they are emotionally ready to except another woman in their father's life!
Maj
(18 Jun 2008, 3:28 pm):
A man should marry as soon as he is physically, mentally and materially able. His new wife will help him overcome the trauma..inshallah.
but tell him not to rush headlong for the first woman that comes along.. patience is a virtue ..let him learn from his first experience and marry someone he is more compatable with
but tell him not to rush headlong for the first woman that comes along.. patience is a virtue ..let him learn from his first experience and marry someone he is more compatable with
AishaDaud
(18 Jun 2008, 3:26 pm):
Shukran for the input. I am actually speaking of a brother. Just concerned more about mental health, as his x wife was very controlling and emotionally abusive.
Laila03
(18 Jun 2008, 2:42 pm):
Yea, but how much does that still matter; can't she just take a pregnancy test? I would wait until the woman feels ready to be married again. I am sure after a bad marriage she will need some time to figure things out, and that will probably take longer than 3 months anyway.
YamakaSi
(18 Jun 2008, 2:37 pm):
As salamu'alaikum sis,
This is what I found on islamonline.net. InshaAllah it could be a help.
YamakaSi
Post divorce procedures:
After divorce, it is obligatory for the woman not to get married to another man, except after three complete mentruation cycles, if she is not pregnant. If she is, then she has to wait till she gives birth, so that the paternity of the child is not confused. This period of time is termed as ‘iddah. However, even if the woman no longer has menstruations (e.g. after menopause), she should still wait for three months. So there is more to the 'iddah than just the issue of paternity.
See the very bottom of the article
This is what I found on islamonline.net. InshaAllah it could be a help.
YamakaSi
Post divorce procedures:
After divorce, it is obligatory for the woman not to get married to another man, except after three complete mentruation cycles, if she is not pregnant. If she is, then she has to wait till she gives birth, so that the paternity of the child is not confused. This period of time is termed as ‘iddah. However, even if the woman no longer has menstruations (e.g. after menopause), she should still wait for three months. So there is more to the 'iddah than just the issue of paternity.
See the very bottom of the article
