Pressure point

Salam aleikum,

ever felt like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place? Sure u have ... guess it's a general atmosphere in our society these days.

I felt that way too untill recently. I'm in a point in my life, where everyone else seems to know what i should do next better than i do. I dont' mind advice tho. I just find ppls contradiciton amusing.

A piece of conversation with my mother's husband:

H(the husband): Last week of holiday *sighs*

A:hah, there u have it, u're always saying i should go to work, i should go to school but the reality is, if you had the chance of stayin at home u'd d othat too.

H: well, we cant all stay at home. And ppl have to work. otherwise they'd never have holidays :) (a modified quote from Pippi Longstockins (kids book); she had to go to school just to have a summer holiday like everyone else)

The point i was trying to get across to him was, that i have no need for this "sensible adult stuff" since i've noticed that most of the "stuff" is everything but sensible (argh, even the thought of going back to uni to these sensible adult ppl is disstressing; imagine ur self, as a  muslim,in a group full off "adults" stuck in the mental state of a 13-year-old. and that's offending the poor kids)

For a long time I thought there's such a thing as an adult person. The truth, is ppl dont get wiser with age, they just get more experienced in  being stupid. Now, i know i've said this before, but i keep finding it amazing over and over again.

My mum, may Allah guide her, said that my son's havin he's terrible two's, but im going thru the "yeah but".-phase. According to her, i insist on seeing obstacles that aren't there, and i i have  a "yeah, but" to everything that's suggested. gosh i hate it when she's right. And she has a tendency to be.

So, i should go back to school. I should take a loan, put my kid to a nursery and study (hard) till i graduate, i should get an 8-4 job, buy a flat, and live in suburbia. (added by blogger) i should also find a damn rich husband to provide for the family since i'll b in deep * tryin to pay myself out of all this.

Yeah, but....

I want to move abroad, study islam, come back and b beneficial to my ummah.  I could never look in the mirror again if i had an 8-4 job, nor could my boss cos he'd feel so stupid for hireing a slub like me.  Then i want to buy the flat and of course, want to find the rich husband as well:P

Life is a loom. There's nothing we can take with us when we go. Education is important and so is work, but the reason for studying and working should be Allah. What's the point of working your hands to the bone if you're not doing it to serve Allah?

I'm a mother, so the best way i can serve Allah at the moment, is to try to raise my son to be a better muslim than i am (well, that should b easy tho).  Later there will be other ways. But right now i should do what i know best.

All rocks are not hard. And hard places tend to bend. After a year i'll come to the conclusion that if i had done what mum said my life would have been easier. But hey, that's life.

"love thy parents, even if you couldnt always respect them. For  long did they dwell on earth, committing a lot of sin,but nevertheless, they left room also for your mistakes." (my mum...another piece of wisdom from the fridge door...) (#####py #####py translation...)

wa salam, A